Last night I had a dream - that in my house, which was at various intervals many houses and a few of them mine.
My mother had spent an inane amount of money doing 2 things to the house.
She built a deck/patio area out where out cellar entrance is, and later, it seemed that water came right up to the edge.
She also built upon the hardwood floors a path that began in their bedroom as a thin red line. As it made its way into a bartop kitchen we don't have (in part where the living room should be) it expanded and rose from the floor, a beautiful sculpture painted red.
It may have simmered down and become a plain white line, eventually it became a vine or fern you followed, that was painted only in a gloss finish atop the wood flooring. But as you went towards the patio doors, it expanded outwards like the mouth of a river, becoming a scaled silvery blue that shimmered a bright white.
And when you looked out the patio doors the water faded into an infinite horizon.
I knew this path lead to the eventual death of my parents and a seemingly infinite, frightening unknown, a sea for which I have not yet begun to build a raft.
I look around at the house, like a rats next in a positive light it was always a place loved where one sits and never in the corners or the countertops. And here we had this glorious, sparkling new patio, already a few sorted items were littered about it.
I muttered under my breath "Well at least it will help the resale value of the place when they are dead"
Along the path on the floor, were 3 small pieces of folded lined paper, with the miswritten names of my siblings and I - "Frad" was written on mine, I think, and they marked out the points along the path at which we were born.
I live largely as context to the path of my parents life. When it ends, I realize I have nothing to follow but the internet.
Help me, I am frightened
The most frightening thing is, I am sure that I only wrote "I realize I have nothing to follow." The last 3 words were written in an unconscious state, apparently. Weeeiiirrrddd