That much sugar making direct contact with your head is going to give you tumors. That's like some crazy new drug I bet; Concentrated Laughter. Pretty soon we'll be seeing people OD and foaming out candy and confetti out their mouths.
Sure she relieves headaches but that's only for as long as you have her applied. Soon you'll start to want more parties, more streamers, more cake! It'll be the happiest last days of your life once you fall victim to this seemingly harmless product.